Retired life was supposed to be relaxing, but Frank and Doris were locked in a fierce, nightly battle over the bedroom alarm clock. Frank insisted on setting it for 6:00 AM.
“Only a lunatic wakes up that early without a fishing pole or a house fire,” Doris muttered, promptly resetting it to 7:00 AM.
The next evening, Frank caught her mid-adjustment. “Nice try, sabotage queen,” he grumbled, flipping it back to 6:00 AM. “You’re the one who said we need to maximize our mornings!”
“I meant sipping coffee on the patio at 9:00 AM, Frank! Not military boot camp in the pitch black!” Doris snapped.
“Discipline builds character!” Frank fired back proudly.
Without saying another word, Doris snatched the alarm clock off the nightstand, marched over to the open window, and launched it deep into the backyard. They both stared out into the darkness in stunned silence.
Frank finally cleared his throat. “Well… I suppose that settles that.”
The next morning, the couple woke up to bright sunshine pouring through the curtains. Frank glanced at his wristwatch—it was 10:17 AM.
“We completely overslept because someone chucked our timekeeper out the window,” Frank mumbled, rubbing his eyes.
Doris didn’t even look up from her pillow. “We overslept because someone thought he was General Patton with a snooze button.”
Realizing neither of them wanted to admit defeat, they quietly reached a truce:
From now on, whenever they slept past noon, they would simply blame it on the dog.
