One evening, things were getting incredibly steamy in the bedroom when my wife suddenly halted the passion.
“I don’t feel like it anymore,” she sighed. “I just want you to hold me.”
Stunned, I asked, “Wait, what? Where is this coming from?”
Then came the dreaded lecture: “You’re just not in tune with my emotional needs as a woman for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man. Can’t you just love me for who I am, and not just for what happens in the bedroom?”
Realizing the night was a total bust, I hatched a plan. The next day, I took her on a massive shopping spree at a luxury department store.
I patiently watched her try on expensive outfits. When she couldn’t decide, I smiled and said, “Let’s just buy them all!”
Her eyes lit up. We added matching designer shoes. Then, we strolled into the jewelry department, where she picked out a dazzling pair of diamond earrings and an exquisite tennis bracelet. She was in a complete state of euphoria, practically floating with joy.
Finally, she beamed at me and said, “I think that’s everything, dear. Let’s head to the cashier!”
I looked at her, paused, and calmly said, “No, honey. I don’t really feel like it anymore.”
Her jaw dropped, her face went blank, and she gasped, “What?!”
I smiled warmly and replied:
“I don’t want to buy them. I just want you to HOLD all these bags for a while. You see, you’re just not quite in touch with my financial needs as a man!”
