A woman asks her husband at breakfast time,
“Would you like some bacon and eggs, a slice of toast, and maybe some grapefruit juice and coffee?”
He declines. “Thanks for asking, but I’m not hungry right now.
It’s this Vi@gr@,” he says. “It’s really taken the edge off my appetite.”
At lunchtime, she asked him if he would like something.
“How about a bowl of soup, homemade muffins or a cheese sandwich?”
He declines. “The Vi@gr@,” he says, “Its really spoiled my need for food.”
Come dinnertime, she asks if he wants anything to eat.
“Would you like a juicy rib eye steak and some scrumptious apple pie? Or maybe a rotisserie chicken or tasty stir fry?”
He declines again. “No,” he says, “it’s got to be the Vi@gr@. I’m still not hungry.”
“Well,” she says, “Would you mind getting off me? I’m bl00dy starving.”
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- A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband pacing around with a fly swatter.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“Hunting flies,” he replied.
“Oh, have you killed any?” she asked.
“Yep, 3 males, 2 females,” he answered.
Intrigued, the wife asked, “How can you tell them apart?”
The husband replied, “Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone.”
2. Husband to wife: “Today is a fine day.”
The next day, he says, “Today is a fine day.”
Again, the following day, he repeats, “Today is a fine day.”
Finally, after a week, the wife can’t take it anymore and asks her husband, “You’ve been saying ‘Today is a fine day’ every day since last week! I’m fed up. What’s going on?”
Husband: “Last week, when we had an argument, you said, ‘I will leave you one fine day.’ I was just trying to remind you.”
