The Doctor Was Amazed by Arthur’s Relationship with God
A 90-year-old man goes for a physical, and all of his tests come back normal.
The doctor says, “Arthur, everything looks great. How are you doing mentally and emotionally? Are you at peace with God?”
Arthur replies, “God and I are close. He knows I have poor eyesight, so he’s fixed it so when I get up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom, poof!, the light goes on.”
“When I’m done, poof!, the light goes off.”
“Wow, that’s incredible,” the doctor says.
A little later in the day, the doctor calls Arthur’s wife.
“Joan,” he says, “Arthur is doing fine! But I had to call you because I’m in awe of his relationship with God.”
“Is it true that he gets up during the night, and poof, the light goes on in the bathroom, and when he’s done, poof, the light goes off?”
“Oh heck,” exclaims Joan,…
“He’s peeing in the refrigerator again!”
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Two bored casino dealers are waiting at the craps table.
A very attractive blonde woman from South Alabama arrives and bets $20,000 on a single roll of dice.
She says, “I hope you don’t mind, but I feel much luckier when I play t0pless.”
With that, she strips to the waist, rolls the dice, and yells, “Come on, Southern girl needs new clothes!”
As the dice bounce and come to a stop, she jumps up and down and squeals, “Yes! Yes! I won! I won!”
She hugs each of the dealers, picks up her winnings, and her clothes, and quickly departs.
The dealers stare at each other dumbfounded.
Finally, one of them asks, “What did she roll?”
The other answers,
“I don’t know, I thought you were watching!”
