He Asked the Doctor How to Stop the Arguments
A man goes to a psychologist because his wife is always in a bad mood, and
they are constantly fighting.
He tells the Doctor, “I really don’t know what to do. Every day my wife seems to go nuts for no reason. It really scares me!”
The doctor says, “I have a cure for that. Anytime your wife starts getting angry, get a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Swish the water left and right, but don’t swallow it. You can only swallow when she either leaves the room or calms down.”
Two weeks later, the man comes back to the doctor looking refreshed and 10 years younger. The man says, “Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my wife started losing it, I got some water just like you said. I gurgled and swished, and she calmed down right away! What kind of witchcraft is this? Just water?”
The doctor says, “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick!”
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A fireman was working on the engine outside the station, when he noticed a little girl nearby in a little red wagon with little ladders hung off the sides and a garden hose tightly coiled in the middle. The girl was wearing a fireman’s helmet. The wagon was being pulled by her dog and her cat.
The fireman walked over to take a closer look and said, “That sure is a nice fire engine.”
The little girl replied, “Thanks.”
The fireman looked a little closer. The girl had tied the wagon to her dogs collar and to the cats t*sticles.
The fireman said, “Little partner, I don’t want to tell you how to run your rig, but if you tie that rope around the cats collar, I think you could go faster.”
The little girl paused for a moment then replied, “You’re probably right, but then I wouldn’t have a siren.”
