Jane was completely exhausted from her husband’s nightly routine. Every single weekend, he would stumble through the front door in the dead of night, smelling like a brewery, slurring his words, and tracking mud across the carpet. Deciding that nagging wasn’t working, she came up with a brilliant plan to scare him straight once and for all.
The following Saturday night, she went to a party supply store and bought the most terrifying devil costume they had. She put on the dramatic crimson face paint, fastened the sharp red horns to her head, attached a long pointed tail, and grabbed a menacing plastic pitchfork. Then, she went outside and hid behind a large oak tree along the dark path he always took home from the local pub.
Around 2:00 AM, she heard him shuffling down the sidewalk, happily humming to himself and veering from side to side.
As he stepped parallel to the tree, Jane lunged out into the moonlight, waving her pitchfork, hissing loudly, and standing in a terrifying, demonic pose.
The husband stopped in his tracks, blinked heavily, and swayed on his feet. He stared at the creature for a long, quiet moment before slurring, “Who the heck are you?”
Jane deepened her voice, trying to sound as sinister as possible. “I am the Devil! Lord of the Underworld and master of all evil!”
The husband’s face instantly lit up with relief. He stepped forward, wrapped a friendly arm around her shoulders, and said cheerfully, “Well, what are we waiting for? Come on home with me! I married your sister.”
