Jim and Linda, a married couple in their late 50s, had been together for over 30 years.
One day, they decided to attend a community event where a tech company was demonstrating their latest invention: a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.
The host was showing it off on stage.
Host: “Ask it any question. If you lie, it’ll give you a little tap.”
Jim nudged Linda. “This might be good for the house. Imagine settling arguments without yelling—just one robotic slap to truth.”
Linda raised an eyebrow. “Great idea. Why don’t you try it first?”
They signed up for a demo. The robot was placed on a table. The audience gathered.
Host: “Alright, Jim. Let’s start with an easy question. What did you do yesterday after work?”
Jim cleared his throat. “I went to the office… stayed late… worked on reports…”
SLAP.
The crowd gasped. Jim rubbed his cheek. “Okay, okay. I went to the bar with Mike.”
Linda glared. “You said you quit drinking.”
Jim straightened up. “I only had one beer.”
SLAP.
“Fine! It was five beers and a plate of wings, happy now?”
Linda crossed her arms. “Let’s test it on me.”
Host: “Sure! Linda, what do you think of Jim’s cooking?”
Linda smiled sweetly. “Oh, I love it. Especially his grilled fish.”
SLAP.
“Okay, the fish is dry. Like eating a sandal. But I love him for trying.”
The audience roared with laughter. The host continued.
Host: “Jim, your turn again. Ever lie to Linda about money?”
Jim hesitated. “Never.”
SLAP.
He winced. “Okay, I may have told her the TV was on sale.”
SLAP.
“Alright, alright! I told her it was a gift from work. It wasn’t. I just wanted surround sound for the game.”
Linda smirked. “I knew work wasn’t giving out 75-inch TVs.”
Now it was Linda’s turn again.
Host: “Linda, have you ever pretended to be asleep to avoid… romantic time?”
Linda laughed awkwardly. “No, never.”
SLAP.
She sighed. “Okay, yes. But just once!”
SLAP.
“Fine! Twice a week during football season.”
Jim threw his arms up. “That explains so much!”
At the end of the demo, the host smiled. “So—would you like to take one home?”
Jim and Linda looked at each other. Then at the robot. Then back at each other.
Jim said, “You know what? We’ve survived 30 years without a lie detector. If we brought that thing home, it’d file for divorce.”
Linda nodded. “We don’t need a robot to slap us. We’ve got each other for that.”
And they walked off hand in hand—bickering lovingly about who lied more.
A lady walks into a fancy jewellery store.
She browses around, spots a beautiful diamond bracelet, and inspects it.
She accidentally breaks the wind when she bends over to look more closely.
Very embarrassed, she looks around nervously to see if anyone has noticed her little accident and prays that a salesperson doesn’t appear.
When she turns around, her worst nightmare materializes as a salesman standing right behind her.
Cool as a cucumber and with complete professionalism, the salesman of the fancy jewelry store greets the lady with, “Good Morning, Madam. How may we help you today?”
Very uncomfortably, but in the hope that the salesman may not have been there at the time of her little “accident”! She asks, “Sir, what is the price of this beautiful bracelet?”
He replies, “Ma’am if you farted just looking at it, you’re going to crap when I tell you the price.”
